Fun at Wal-Mart
Sure-fire ways to cause chaos at America's most dangerous department store.

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
3. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "Where are your tampons?"
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
6. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
7. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
10. Put M&M's on layaway.
11. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
12. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
13. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
14. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
15. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
16. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
17. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
18. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
19. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
20. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
21. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
22. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
23. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

<< Back